Add another professional to the Team!

Last week during our routine physical therapy appointment, our therapist discussed having a social worker from Children's call me to assist me with Thomas' frustration and anger coping behavior.  Yes, this is something most parents really don't like to discuss because it is not good or something to brag about for sure.  First, a social worker with CHOA is not like have DFACS called on me.  LOL!! Here is the definition that explains it better than I can: At Children’s, social work services are vital to providing effective healthcare that impacts all dimensions of wellness for the patient and family. Social workers use their skills in assessment and intervention to provide our families with counseling, education, and resources to enhance their coping and well-being with illness or injury.

Thomas first began to show his frustrations by hitting himself in the head with his hands and sometimes the random item or toy.  Him being the third and each of them having strong opinions and attitudes it is par for the course.  However, Thomas has began to really take it a step further and bang his head against the wall or floor.  He will hit once or twice and then bang it hard to where it really hurts.  Then he proceeds to come running to us for comfort.  This is where I as a mother would get stuck.  I don't want to console and encourage his behavior with a positive reinforcement but he must be redirected or calmed down in order for him to stop. 

He has progressively been getting worse with these fits when he is frustrated or angry.  He really showed our therapist last week how much and how hard he is doing it when he was refusing to participate in the exercises.  She became quite concerned as I had been, especially since he doesn't differentiation between soft or hard surfaces.  So, she suggested their social worker give me a call and we see if we can't figure out a way to help Thomas learn a different way to handle his anger and frustration.  She called today and we talked about possible triggers, signs that I can watch for when he is about to begin this behavior, etc.  We both agreed that a log may be helpful for a couple of days to try and find any type of pattern that may exist.  She explained frustration and how we as adults usually redirect ourselves from certain situations in order to lower frustration levels and that it may be something I can help teach him.  So redirecting and calming are our goals for the next week.  She is also going to work with my OT and PT in sharing the information so that we can all work together as a team.  Can I just mention again how awesome Children's Healthcare of Atlanta is!!

She also mentioned that one thing we do need to consider is the amount of trauma that Thomas has been through in his little life.  The doctors visits, tests and therapy.  While therapy does look and feel like constructive play, it is a lot of work for someone so young.  His emotional state is not the same as where and what my other children would have had at this state in comparison.  So, more comforting or holding maybe be necessary for security and comfort purposes.  Separation anxiety maybe be more intense and more traumatizing.  These were words I needed to hear no matter how hard they were.  We like to come home and pretend that all is well and that he is just like his brothers.  Yes, we realize that some things are different and he will have different challenges physically and I realize that I need to raise him to be tough and with perseverance.  However, to realize that the emotional needs are different as well is just not something that I wanted to have to think about just yet.  I was thinking more of he is too young to understand and therefore he will be protected for a while longer.  I am not realizing that may not be the case and that while I do nurture all of my sons and care for them, Thomas may need to have some extra considerations in this area as well.

We will follow up with the social worker in about two weeks with my log and see what else we can determine about his behavior in order to help him.  Here is a quick update of upcoming dates for us:
Tomorrow - Scottish Rite for hearing test with Audiologists and ENT
Thursday - Speech therapy
Wednesday - April 4th - Shriner Hospital, Greenville, SC


Thank you again for all of our love, prayers and support.  Our fundraising for Thomas' medical fund has been going great both on and off the site!!  Thank you.  Thank you. Thank you.  One day Thomas will know how much you all have done for him right from the beginning!!  Never take for granted your family, and by this I mean those who surround you with unconditional love through blood, friendship or Christ.

In the true spirit of Lent I want to share with you a beautiful piece of scripture:

1 Peter 1:3  Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead