Being Thomas' Mommy is Different

Today I was thinking about how being the mom of Thomas really makes my life different, not in a BIG way which is obvious, but in the little ways. Each of my boys are very special in their own way and hold their own challenges.  My oldest who battles ADHD and anxiety issues, which is a daily battle with us and is exhausting.  He brings a bag of concerns with his medication, diet, exercise, therapy and doctors in order to try and provide him with a healthy, happy life.  My middle child is his own person with a very strong charismatic personality.  He doesn't have to demand attention much in that his personality is so full of life that you gravitate to him.  He does have to deal with the fall outs from my oldest which is heartbreaking.  Then you have our sweet little Thomas, who himself while still little is getting amazingly good at sharing his opinion and speaking his thoughts.  Sometimes with a stomp of his feet or a pout in his bottom lip.  These provide the dynamics for our daily life. 

Thomas very quickly has a way of drawing people to him.  Its understandable with those that we know and love, but complete strangers who don't know his story and don't know him will approach us and talk to him.  Its amazing the light that shines out of this special little boy.  That makes being a mommy to Thomas different.  Then we have days like today.  We have a BIG appointment tomorrow so my mind is wandering and my heart is aching with prayer.  Going to church on days like today is uplifting in so many ways for me.  I can be with my church family and be surrounded in our Father's house.  I walk around holding Thomas keeping the other two in tow as we go from Sunday School to Big Church, etc and greet people all along the way.  People who love and support us daily.  They see me smiling and Thomas waving when in my heart I am on my knees.  My prayers are a little deeper, my worship is a little louder as I put all my faith and hope into our Heavenly Father that he will continue to keep Thomas in his hands.  Praying that all of the progress that he has made in so many ways to continue and that his structure on the inside will continue to support him.  We can see him talking, laughing and learning.  We see him grow and develop his personality and attitude.  We can't see what his spine is doing inside, we can't see what is working and what isn't on the inside.  That is difficult to comprehend. 

Tonight before dinner he complained of his side hurting.  If it had been one of my other boys, no big deal.  We would look at it, check it out and tell them to eat their dinner.  Thomas though, what does it mean?  Is it nothing? Is it something?  We took off his shirt and saw nothing, yet he continued to complain.  He ate his dinner and mentioned it a couple of more times.  We massaged the area and gave him some medicine and he is now sleeping.  But again, this is just another example of how being Thomas' mommy is different.

I will update you again tomorrow after our appointment.  We are meeting with the Pediatric Surgeon in the morning.  The doctor who has been following Thomas' spine for months and gave us the official diagnosis of Klippel Feil Syndrome in his neck on January 9th.  We will have x-rays of his back to see where we are from where we have been.  I never take appointments like this lightly as you really just don't know what could be discovered as his little body continues to develop and grow.  I will covet your prayers tonight in my heart and focus on peace for what tomorrow brings.

Matthew 11:28-30  Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”